I mean a funny spot about voiceover for a movie. Who wrote this? It’s brilliant. “I hate you.” says the engineer.
I mean a funny spot about voiceover for a movie. Who wrote this? It’s brilliant. “I hate you.” says the engineer.
After two minutes of this hilarity, which seem like a thousand, Mike picks the script back up and reads it again. Even worse than the first time because now he’s laughing.
“Buster Douglas. Big left hand. Tough in the clutch. Almost killed a man. Tokyo. Tokyo.” Mike stops laughing. “I got to go.” And I have nothing. Mike is standing up.
I say, “Hey Champ! Can we try it one more time?”
The crowd says, “Hey! We got places to go! Big Mike ain’t your bitch! Champ ain’t here for you.”
The fact that he actually is here for me seemed to escape the mob.
So I turn to his manager who is sitting behind the wheel of the RV. I said to him, “This time, Mike, let’s read it really slowly and really clearly.”
His manager looks at me, looks up at Mike and says, “Mike, what the man wants you to do is read it really slowly and clearly.” Mike nods his head…
“Buster Douglas. Big left hand. Tough in the clutch. Almost killed a man. Tokyo. Tokyo.”
Good enough. Mike crumples the script in his giant paws, drops it on the floor and heads to the door. In my own little, manipulative, advertising copywriter sort of way, I’d won.
Mike stops at the door, turns to me and says, “You know, you look like a Nazi.”
I’m sitting in a sunbaked RV in the parking lot of Johnny Taco’s Ringside Gym in Las Vegas waiting for Mike Tyson – the Tyson who was on top of the world. He’s inside shooting a TV commercial. I was there to record Mike’s voice, a simple recording of his innermost thoughts about his upcoming opponent. I told the sound guy, “Look, I have no idea what’s going to happen so as soon as that door opens, start recording. No matter what happens, keep recording.”
The door burst open but it’s not Mike. It’s six guys bigger than Mike Tyson. The entire RV rocks as these monstrous human beings shove and laugh and fling themselves onto the built-in furniture. I am pinned between two of them. They stop laughing and stare at me like I was a big bug that plopped from the ceiling.
“What are you doing in Mike’s trailer? Yeah, what’re you doing here, little man? This is Mike Tyson’s trailer!”
I didn’t have time to answer because the door slams open again and Mike Tyson stomps in, flops down directly across from me and gives me a “Now what the fuck do you want from me?” look.
I say, ”Hi, Mike, thanks for doing this. It’s a really short script and we’ll do just three or four takes…”
Mike snatches the paper out of my hand, looks at the sound guy and gives him the “start-rolling” finger gesture. Then mumbles my script unintelligibly…
“Buster Douglas. Big left hand. Tough in the clutch. Almost killed a man. Tokyo. Tokyo.”
Then hands it back to me like he’s John Fucking Gielgud. And you know what I say? “That’s great, Mike. Great start. Now this time…”
Mike stands up, leans over the table right in my face says, “You know, I’m not interested in being here!”
I straighten up and say, “You know, Mike, Me neither. Are you guys fucking interested in hanging out in an oven hot RV in the parking lot of Johnny Taco’s Crappy Ringside Gym in some shithole neighborhood of Las Vegas, when you could be out drinking Crystal and getting lap dances at the Pony Club. Not fucking interested.”
But I didn’t say that. I couldn’t even think that. I said, “Yes, Mike, I totally understand, that’s cool…”
Mike holds his hand to my face.
“Wait wait wait. What you say? That’s cool? That’s cool? That’s cool.” Mike turned to his gang and says, “Man’s gone all urban on us! He’s talking like a brother!” They all burst into howling laughter. “That’s cool! That’s cool! “He thinks he’s all street and shit. Talkin’ like a brother.”
After two minutes of this hilarity, which seem like a thousand, Mike picks the script back up and reads it again. Even worse than the first time because now he’s laughing.
To be continued…
Produced for BBDO NY and their client, Sierra Mist. “Don’t Be Absurd” was one of dozens of spots we produced as an homage to Abbott & Costello. Oh, yes, that is the wonderful Mary Gross of SNL fame.
“The Argument” (produced for Slingbox and our client, Hub Strategy) was just one of dozens of spots featuring our hapless, overly-confident voice-over actor who had to deal with any number of live challenges. These spots were so popular DJ’s talked about them on air and were often requested by listeners. If you’d like to hear the rest of them, let us know. We’ll get them to you.
Yes, that’s Dave Chappelle in this radio spot. Yes, it was an adventure working with him. He refused to go to a proper studio so we built a studio in a dilapidated conference room in his office basement. And since we (Chappelle, me, the engineer, three Pepsi clients and three BBDO folks) were all crammed into the same space, nobody could laugh. Chappelle stopped after a dozen takes and said, “What the hell! Nobody’s laughing! I’m a comic! I need laughter!” I assured him if he was in a booth, we’d all be laughing like crazy. He said, “Oh.”
Two weeks after producing these spots. Chappelle turned down a multimillion dollar from Comedy Central then disappeared to South Africa. We feel a bit responsible. (By the way, working with celebrities is something we’ve done a lot of.)